Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Choice Theory

The Ten Axioms of Choice Theory
The only person whose behavior we can control is our own.
All we can give another person is information.
All long-lasting psychological problems are relationship problems.
The problem relationship is always part of our present life.
What happened in the past has everything to do with what we are today, but we can only satisfy our basic needs right now and plan to continue satisfying them in the future.
We can only satisfy our needs by satisfying the pictures in our Quality World.
All we do is behave.
All behavior is Total Behavior and is made up of four components: acting, thinking, feeling and physiology.
All Total Behavior is chosen, but we only have direct control over the acting and thinking components. We can only control our feeling and physiology indirectly through how we choose to act and think.
All Total Behavior is designated by verbs and named by the part that is the most recognizable.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

How to Practice Radical Acceptance | eHow.com

Radical acceptance is the practice of accepting life on its own terms and finding effective strategies to cope with whatever is happening. It doesn't mean being passive, but accepting "what is" with the understanding that you have the power of choice. Practicing radical acceptance is a choice that can ease stress and depression and enhance your overall quality of life.How to Practice Radical Acceptance eHow.com

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A new story # 2

Engaged To Be Married


My day was like any other day while working at the homeless shelter, tending to administration duties, answering phone calls from people looking for shelter, attending to altercations, and monitoring behaviors. I was having a rather average day. Much too my surprise I saw a former client outside, walking slowly down the sidewalk in front of our facility with his head down low. I could see by his posture he was not having a very good day. Our policy at the shelter was we were able to take walk in clients as long as it was safe to do so. We could then contact their social worker by the next day to confirm eligibility to stay longer. Luckily, that day we had a bed available and I knew this client as being of good character who had fallen into a problem with street drugs. Since there was a bed available an intake was completed for the man I will call Jeff.

I had never seen Jeff in such dismay, he could hardy look me in the eye, he stated he was experiencing the lowest point ever in his life, a very fragile state of mind indeed. I took it upon myself to attend as best I could, as his state of mind was a real concern to me. The procedure was to escort a client to his room, which I did. Sometimes when a situation such as this one is witnessed it is best to let a person just be, but to day was different. Something inside me felt if I should remain in his presence a while longer, I am certainly grateful I did just that. Jeff explained in much greater detail the pain he was experiencing and confessed he did not feel there was a way to feel better, in other words he had been contemplating checking out permanently! Immediately I quickly provided some intervention by asking him about his family and asked him to think about those he would leave behind. I explained I could get him immediate medical attention by the following day and to please trust me, he agreed and we parted. I did not see him for the rest of my shift as our team experienced a chaotic, although quite normal period at work.
Well the next day arrived, I returned to my employment to understand Jeff was no longer there, he not had returned from a walk the night before. I can not begin to describe how I was feeling and the questions that ran through my mind. I was trained to deal with the now of work and just carry on, so I had to move on through another day. Another three or four months went by and I decided to move to another area of BC. As time passed I sometimes pondered if Jeff made his final decision or just maybe he was out there somewhere, I also reminisced about the shelter experiences I left behind. Months passed and Jeff was long forgotten. Here I was in a place I had never been, cold as hell and not really enjoying my time, with one exception. I had chosen that northern exposure to be closer to my son who had just passed into his teenage life. We connected well, had plenty of fun and just hung out as father and son. I will always cherish that time together. In a northern climate you either embrace the outdoors or the outdoors embraces you, harshly. I decided needed a break so I ventured down to the streets of Vancouver's suburbs. The visit was warming on many levels, visiting with friends, enjoying the southern climate, the Pacific Ocean and yes even the rain was so refreshing. I was home even if it was just for a visit, I was home.
I decided to visit my old colleagues at the shelter and what a wonderful reunion it was. Many things had changed although my main friends I formally worked along side with were still there. We shared many memories and caught up with new shelter program developments, much had changed. Much to my surprise, one of my colleagues brought up Jeff, commenting that he had been at the shelter up until a few days ago and had wanted to talk to me. I was a bit saddened that I had missed him although those feelings were quickly replaced with that of jubilation, that he chose to live. My colleagues were intrigued by my reaction and I confessed about how I had held the memory of Jeff very close to me.
I can not explain clearly enough the feeling that emanated from my being by what happened soon after our continued visit at the shelter. Something caught my attention outside, a man with his head held high , it was Jeff now rounded the corner and heading up the drive way to the shelter. I could not believe my eyes. He was all smiles as was I, meeting at the front door. Jeff started off with a thank you, a thank you that rocked me to my core. A thank you that validated the 7 years I had dedicated to helping those who fall from grace. A thank you that was so sincere from a man who had found a way back to himself, a good man a changed man. He explained how his life had worsened after are talk long ago in his tiny room in the shelter, although he had decided to live that night no matter what stood in his way. I was stunned because not only did he live but here was a man standing before me with only one leg. You see his journey of despair had continued until his health failed him badly, which landed him in the hospital.
Faith in himself delivered a healing of sorts. He received the treatment he needed physically, spiritually and mentally while in hospital to stand tall before me, healthy and happy. The journey he accepted, the hope he found and a vision for a healthy future was uttered in the following words, "I am engaged to be married".
Terence Hill
"A toast to the Groom".

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

My attempt at writing a short story

Memories by the boy inside the man.

A story entitled; Don’t smoke


I found my dad’s lighter for the first time at 8 years old, as it fell out of his coat pocket hanging in the closet. I had seen my dad use this contraption before and I was fascinated by the fire the lighter made. I thought to myself in a spit second, that today was the day I would try using the lighter myself, for the first time. Then came a problem, what would I set on fire as I was in the house. Well my mother was very proud of her Victorian style house which came complete with a large fully enclosed foyer and a leaded paneled glass doors that lead to the inside of the house, which I closed. As I scanned the foyer my eyes became focused on a large vase which contained pampas grasses, arranged tall and bushy. I quickly made up my mind that the grasses would be my first test material for making fire. I was very apprehensive and fearful but worked up enough courage to go through with my plan. I thought carefully about how I would attempt my first interaction with the lighter and the material chosen. I proceeded cautiously with great precision and safety in mind. I forcasted what might happen and then came to my moment of bravery. I would grasp a very small section of the grass in my hand so only a very small piece would burn when touched by the striking of the lighter, a brilliant idea! Once I had the grass firmly in my grasp I struck the lighter moving the flame slowly and cautiously closer to my fuel source. I remember hearing a wooosh sound and the foyer getting a lot brighter, the small flame in my grasp had instantly turned grasses into a raging inferno from passing straight through my clenched hand. The whole vase of grass had exploded with fire. I quickly grabbed my grassy torch and ran outside. In a state of panic and fear I began waving my flaming torch back and forth trying to desperately extinguish the inferno. Well the waving maneuver was a big mistake, now flaming embers filled the air falling dangerously to the ground and thick black smoke was all around me now.

The whole fiery event took less than one minute. I stood there for a moment holding the smoldering remains of my first fire until a thought hit me. Could I explain the missing grasses from the foyer by making up a fib about their disappearance from the vase and was there any other evidence of the fire occurring. I rushed back into the foyer to see my answer had been provided. There before me was a large black sooty scorch mark running up the wall. I conceded my attempt to deceive my parents that day and took full responsibility for my action, learning a valuable lesson,

Don’t smoke.


Terence P. Hill
PS: I love you Dad

Health Care "How is your health"?


This is the real situation in British Columbia Canada. The picture is not a joke, the message is in protest. Ambulance services personnel are still providing their services with no contact with no negotiations offered by the local government, as far as I know.

Friday, July 31, 2009

My first blog to the world

Everybody can become very stressed by their need to change what is not working in their lives. The gift of problem solving and the power of the internet has has inspired me to take on this project to see where it goes in solving some global problems.

Please join me in this project, your help is greatly needed and appreciated by those you will assist. I feel there are also many people throughout the world who can help another deal with change.

Be a part of meaningful change. I ask for your assistance to help me build this site into a powerful tool to facilitate change around the world.

Thank you

T

Welcome to Resolutions Personal Coaching


Thank you for visiting.


Resolutions was conceptualized and developed over the last decade. My training, along with my extensive social service experience has prepared me to pursue a coaching lifestyle and profession. I assist people who are ready to face their need to change stressors in their life.


The coach training and field experience gave me ability to quickly gain an understanding of the a client's personal dynamics at play and in turn guide the conversations to accommodate the needed change revealed. I received intensive experiential training and logged 1000+ hours of field experience before becoming a capable Life Coach.


MY COACHING PRIORITIES:

1.. clarify your priorities

2. listen without judgement

3. support your chosen direction



What Is my role as your Personal Coach?

First of all, what a coach is not is a therapist or counselor. A coach does not keep you stuck in the past events of life.

Together, we will clarify your present situation, clearly lay it out so it can be witnessed, acknowledged and understood.

I will assist you to challenge old beliefs patterns that may have you stuck from trying to advance toward your goals.


I assist with advanced problem solving skills to facilitate changes wanted by you.

I will assist to define your steps or actions neccesary.

I support and hold you accountable to the steps you define.


The coaching process will give you a higher understanding of yourself and your ability to reach your goals faster.

Coaching is a one on one conversation that will facilitate change to address any aspect of your life such as;

self discovery or full expression of self

family or friends communication

health and happiness

employment goals

higher income

esteem

ideas

?



But why would you need a coach?

The training tools I have received and use skillfully permits me to assist you with a invaluable assessment of your present situation, help you identify the real issues without judgement and deliver quality supportive assistance to get the results, that you define.

Each of us knows deep down what is needed, sometimes we just have trouble problem solving and following through by taking the necessary action.. My role is too facilitate your thoughts and feelings into action.

I do not give opinion, which can often be received by a family member or a friend, which is normally offered based on what would be best, if they were in your situation. What is best for one person is not always what you should do.

Together we discover what is best for you based on your thoughts and comfort factor moving forward. I am always so honored to bare witness to this rewarding process.


Questions to ponder.

1. Do the same issues or concerns continue to effect you?

2. In what way do the issues effect you?

3. Why are the issues still present in your life?

4. What would life look like if the issues where gone?

5. How would you feel if the issues where no longer present?



Send me an email, lets have a conversation soon. You will be happy you did.

resolutionpc@hotmail.com